Hard Days

 

Yes, these are hard days.  

We're witnessing the meanest, the ugliest, most hateful of men making a grab for our country for purely selfish self-serving damning reasons - for himself only.  

Dividing us with lies and hatred.  

It's impossible for me to fully grasp that there are people who still, after all the horrible things he continues to spew, the unbelievably scary things he promises to do, continue to support him. 

How?  

How can that be?  

I don't think I ever truly believed in pure evil before this man, but now I do. 

I do.  

I am so very thankful to have discovered a few women on-line that I lean on - more now than ever.  

Women I do not know personally, but seek out their wisdom, their humor, their goodness, to help me through hard days.  

Thanking Lisa Respers France , Connie Schultz , Anne Lamott , Heather Cox Richardson from the very bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul.

While that guy has spouted off ridiculous lies - easily proven to be lies IF his base would take it he time to just look a little beyond Fox - these women speak truths in ways that help me through these hard days.

Lies and vicious hatred.

That's all he's got.

A Day of Pondering Blessings - Reposted with Hope for our Future

I posted this here in 2014.

As I, again, on this Thanksgiving Eve, ponder my blessings, this seems to be almost right.

Except.

Along with my blessings comes sadness.

And, honestly, some guilt.

Families who won't have loved ones sharing their Thanksgiving dinner with them this year, or in future years, are on the rise.  

  

Families are having loved ones stolen from them by hate.

Shootings in this country are on the rise.

Anyone not connecting the violence with the hate spewing out of the mouths of the White nationalists wearing MAGA hats is seriously delusional.  Or worse.

So yes, join me in counting blessings, but I hope you'll also join me in doing all we can to change gun laws, and get rid of those elected officials who support them.  

Get rid of elected officials who foment this hate with their own bigotry and dangerous words.

We made a decent start with our recent elections.

We can continue on this path and return this country to a place of inclusion, tolerance, and acceptance.  Let's do it.

Get Rid of the Hate

While I feel as though there are many things in the world, in our country, that need fixing, I hope I never forget to give thanks for the blessings in my life.


They are many.

I sat over this laptop drinking coffee and began listing them, and felt as though rather than expressing gratitude, it might come across as something else.  Holding those blessings in my heart was the important thing to me today, I realized.  Not sharing them with others as I have in the past.  Not this year.


And this moved me to back away from the laptop for awhile and just ponder.


Isn't it amazing the twisty roads your mind can find when left to its own devices?


It wandered widely and had me reading pieces by some of my favorite writers, looking at paintings by some favorite artists.  I read some essays by Anne Lamott, some poetry by Mary Oliver, and some randomly scattered quotes.


I ended here  -


"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." - John F. Kennedy



This seemed to be what my heart was seeking.

This.


This, I need to work on.

My Week

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love being able to call my time my own.

I don't think there's anyone on God's green earth who loves being retired more than I.  I think, truly, I was born to be a retired person.

Some days I'm very productive.

Some days I'm a slug.

And do not have to look for approval, or ask forgiveness from a single living soul for either of those things.


Ha!


I made myself promises when I retired.  I promised to stretch my wings.  Try new things.  Do the things I've wanted to do, but always said I didn't have enough time to do.

Actually, while time was a factor, I'm also of the mind that if there's something you "really" want to do, you will find the time, or make the time, to do it.

I was having dinner with some friends one evening several years back before I retired and we were each sharing what we had been doing since we had last been together.  I remember, fairly vividly, one of the women rolling her eyes and saying to me, "Wow.  I wish I had all the free time you seem to have.  It's all I can do to work and keep the house clean and take care of my husband."  

I balked.

And I tried, truly, to keep my mouth shut.

But . . .

Well, you know . . .

Keeping my mouth shut isn't always something I do well.

Rarely, actually.

So, I said just what I've said here - "If you really want to do something, you're always able to find the time.  As far as those other things, maybe I do them more efficiently, or perhaps my husband is more capable of taking care of himself.  Whatever."

She took offense.

She responded, I listened.

I responded, she fumed.

And I asked, "WHY is it okay that you're offended, but not okay that I'M offended?"

I don't recall ever getting an answer to that question, although, to my mind, she clearly implied there were important things I was just not doing.



Why I told that story has become unclear . . .   LOL!!!

Back to my point - I love being retired.


This week is a perfect example of exactly what I love about it.


It's been a bit of a hodge-podge of doing many of the things I am now enjoying doing.


I have, some mornings, slept late because I stayed up really late reading the evening before - really late.  2 a.m. late.  I've discovered J.D. Robb's "In Death" series and am over the moon in love with them.  Eve and Roark are worthy of having all the fans they've collected and all the analysis pieces that have been written about them.  If, like me, you're late to the game - I encourage you to give them a try.  You probably know J.D. Robb is a name Nora Roberts writes under.  Expect the same things in this series that you already love.

I have, some mornings. gotten up super early.

Small things, I know.  But lovely.

Sleep late, or up in time to watch the sun rise.


My choice.


Lovely, indeed.


So, I've been reading.


I have gone to the gym a couple of times.


I've been helping out with the Watauga County Annual Community Plant Sale which helps raise money every year for the Watauga County Democratic Party.

I've taken a couple of lessons in my on-line photography course from Shaw Academy.


And I've been writing.

(and yes, the house is clean - well, fairly clean.  and yes, husband is fine fine fine)


And the writing is going well.  Yay!


That's not always the case, of course.

But - since seeing Anne Lamott at Lenoir-Rhyne, and then listening to Pam Stack interview James Anderson on her Blog Talk Radio Show, I got inspired and motivated and ready to write.


Luckily, since I'm an indie writer, I am able to write when I feel like it.  I don't have to feel pushed by deadlines.  I can choose and mold my words until they're what I know I'm looking for and am happy with.

However.

It also means I can procrastinate - and, I admit, that is not such a good thing.


But.  That's another topic for another day.


Right now, I'm writing and I'm writing well.


Not fast.


Never fast.


Writing is not something I'm able to do quickly.


But just doing it feels great.  Right now.

Cross your fingers for me that it feels good and remains on the "fun" side of things for awhile.

At the very least, until I get the first draft finished.

That's my immediate goal - getting that terrible awful shitty first draft finished.

I seem to have trouble remembering some very important words from Sir Terry Pratchett -

But, I won't be writing all day.

There's Facebook.  Addictive.  Lovely.  Awful.  Fun.  Horrible.  Facebook.  I love it.

AND -

I have to make a salad.

Tomorrow is the Watauga Democratic Convention.  And before the convention starts, attendees are having a potluck lunch.  

How fun is that?

I'm planning on taking my Hungarian Cucumber Salad.

Want the recipe?

Okay!

Here 'tis - I'm making more than this recipe calls for, but I'll just play around with the amounts as I fix it.

Hungarian Cucumber Salad

(Makes about 6 servings; this recipe is adapted from the traditional recipe in The Art of Hungarian Cooking)

Salad Ingredients:
2 English cucumbers or 3-4 fresh garden cucumbers (cucumbers with small seeds are best for this)
2 tsp. fine table salt (for drawing the water out of the cucumbers)
extra sour cream and paprika, for serving

Dressing Ingredients:
2 garlic cloves, finely minced (more or less to taste)
1/4 cup white wine vinegar (any mild vinegar can be used, but don't use a sweet vinegar)
1/2 - 1 tsp. sweet paprika, to taste
1/4 cup sour cream
2 T olive oil
fresh ground black pepper to taste

Instructions:
Peel the cucumbers, slice cucumber into thin slices.

Put the sliced cucumbers into a bowl and sprinkle with table salt.  Toss until they're well covered. Let cucumbers sit and release their liquid for at least 15-20 minutes.

While cucumbers are sitting, make the dressing. Finely chop 2 cloves of garlic. Whisk together the minced garlic, vinegar, sweet paprika, sour cream, and oil. Season the dressing with freshly ground black pepper to taste.

After cucumbers have been sitting for 15-20 minutes to release the liquid, put them into a colander and let the liquid drain off. Then put a small plate over the cucumbers in the colander and gently press down to squeeze off as much liquid as you can. (You can also put cucumbers inside a clean dish towel and gently squeeze to remove the liquid.) Blot cucumbers dry with a paper towel.

Put cucumbers back in a dry bowl. Add the dressing mixture and gently combine. This salad is best when it sits for at least 30 minutes before serving to let the flavors combine. Serve with additional sour cream and paprika to add to the salad at the table if desired.

Anne Lamott at Lenoir-Rhyne University

"Lenoir–Rhyne University is a co-educational, private liberal arts university founded in 1891 and located in Hickory, North Carolina, USA. The university is affiliated with the North Carolina Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.

Every year for the past twenty-five years Lenoir-Rhyne University’s Visiting Writers Series has provided outstanding literary arts programming that is free and open to the public."  (read more - http://visitingwriters.lr.edu/home)

I've only attended one other visiting writer event at Lenoir-Rhyne.  That was Pat Conroy.  Several years ago.

I should do more.

And I always say that I will . . . 

Maybe this time I really will

Regardless.

Anne Lamott has long been one of my literary icons.  As she is to many.

What writer doesn't own a copy of her "Bird by Bird?" which gave us the lesson that first drafts are shitty.  

Besides being the author of one of the best known "writer bibles," she writes essays that will tear your heart out, she has written novels, she's a teacher, a political activist, and as a public speaker she rocks the house.

Having the opportunity to hear her talk last night at Lenoir-Rhyne was an opportunity I was determined not to miss.

Even with snow in the forecast for the evening.  (which I didn't see even a flake of, thank goodness).

And, she was everything you could hope.

She writes a great deal about her faith, it's a huge part of who she is.  But she writes about it in a way that is not what most of us are used to in this sort of writing.

Truth be told, people writing and/or talking too much about their faith is uncomfortable for me.  That's probably all I need to say about that.

She writes straight from the hip and tells it like it is.  About everything.  Everything.  This is your first clue that "truth" is an important part of who Anne Lamott is.

She speaks exactly as she writes.

And, actually, I know this sounds crazy, but as soon as she started talking last night one of the first thoughts that crossed my mind was "I would recognize her just by her voice."  Isn't that crazy?  But she sounds exactly like I have had her sounding in my mind as I have read her words.

And she began the evening shooting straight from the hip with words about our governor.  Needless to say, she is as horrified by his latest as most of us are.

HB2 has brought the state of NC, once again, into the public spotlight under the embarrassment of moving from its once progressively responsible self to the extreme irresponsible opposite.  Leaving many of our citizens behind.

Anne Lamott's first remarks to her audience were to apologize to us for having him represent us.

She received, in return, a riotous round of applause.  

But not from everyone.

Hickory, NC is, after all, a conservative part of the state.

Lenoir Rhyne, while being a liberal university, is still, after all, attached to the Evangelical Lutheran Church.

I kept thinking at the beginning of her talk that I should be writing some of what she was saying down.   But.  Most of what she talked about centered back around to quotes you can find all over the internet.  She is a most quotable soul.

Last night she spent most of her time talking to the audience as though it was a group of writers.  She said everyone she had met since arriving for this particular talk were writers which meant she had a lot to say to us.

And so, she said all the things most of us love her for.

She, in her inimitable "tell it like it is" persona, said, "The hard thing about being a writer is that you have to write."  

"You have to put your butt in the chair and just do it. Do it!"

All the things we already know.  Many of which we've learned from her.

But.

Wow.

The woman has something that so many don't.

A particular quiet charisma.

An honesty that can be off-putting from anyone else, but that you expect and hope for from Anne Lamott.

When she says "turn off your phone and write."  By golly, you want to turn off your phone and write.

When she repeats herself saying "just do it.  It starts now."  You believe her.  You want to start now.

When she tells us about reading E. L. Doctorow who said, "Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' You don't have to see where you're going, you don't have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you." You believe it when she tells you "This is right up there with the best advice on writing, or life, I have ever heard.”

She compares writing to life situations a lot.  And had us all on the edge of our chairs while doing so.  She talked about her family.  A lot of which was not complimentary.  She is one who puts the truth ahead of most everything else - whether it's comfortable for those involved or not.

No one could hear Anne Lamott speak and ever, ever doubt her belief in “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

Suffice to say I walked out of there feeling inspired.  Motivated.  Moved.

And yes, ready to get back to my manuscripts.  My first shitty drafts.  

Because.

She reminded me . . .  

“You are lucky to be one of those people who wishes to build sand castles with words, who is willing to create a place where your imagination can wander. We build this place with the sand of memories; these castles are our memories and inventiveness made tangible. So part of us believes that when the tide starts coming in, we won't really have lost anything, because actually only a symbol of it was there in the sand. Another part of us thinks we'll figure out a way to divert the ocean. This is what separates artists from ordinary people: the belief, deep in our hearts, that if we build our castles well enough, somehow the ocean won't wash them away. I think this is a wonderful kind of person to be.”

I had an hour and a half to drive home, back up the mountain to Boone, by myself.  A time to reflect on what I'd heard Anne Lamott tell us.

Y'all?

If you don't have a copy of "Bird by Bird," go get one.

Whether you write or not.

Read "Bird by Bird."

If you ever have an opportunity to hear Anne Lamott speak, I hope you won't let it pass you by.

And let me know what you think, okay?

Books, Authors, Essays

I love to talk about  books.

I love to share favorite books and authors with others who might not have discovered them yet, and, in turn, I love learning about them.

One of the people I learn from is Lesa Holstine.

If you're one of the last people on God's green earth to hear about Lesa and her marvelous blog - here's a link:  http://lesasbookcritiques.blogspot.com/  -  jump on over there!

Lesa and I seem to enjoy many of the same authors and books and have shared names and titles over the years.

The latest "share" I got from her was Rick Bragg's "My Southern Journey."

Now, I have read some of his work before, and love it.  But I don't think I was really prepared for how much his essays would touch me.

I have gone back and re-read the introduction he wrote for this book a half a dozen times.  With more to come, I'm sure.

And I learned something new about Lesa during the Rick Bragg conversation at her blog.

She loves essays for comfort reading.

And so do I.

I write them for that very same reason.  Essays have long been my first writing love.



There have been periods of time when I just simply have not had enough sense to read a novel.

These have been periods of stress when I've been concerned about loved ones and can't seem to hold a thought in my head for long without worries nudging it aside.

And there are times when I've been sitting on a deck, or on the beach, watching the waves and all I want is a little literary comfort to go along with the peace I'm feeling.

Rick Bragg's "My Southern Journey" is a book I'll add to my already fairly substantial pile of "essay comfort."

The pile, off the top of my head, includes:

Anne Morrow Lindberg's "Gift From the Sea"

Joan Anderson's "A Year By the Sea" and "A Walk on the Beach"

Mary Oliver's "Long Life: Essays and Other Writings" (and all her poetry)

May Sarton's "The House by the Sea" and "Journal of a Solitude"

Anything by Anne Lamott and Anna Quindlen

and finally -

Pat Conroy's "The Reading Life", and his cookbook.  Yes.  His cookbook.  It's not just a cookbook (although it can stand alone as one that cooks and cookbook aficionados would love. It's full of some of the most delicious essays written with the pure poetry that you would expect from this master.

If you're also a lover of essays, I'd love if you would share some of your favorites with me.

May Photo A Day Challenge - Day 7

 

Topic of the day

 

is

 

"Someone Who Inspires Me"

“For me and most of the other writers I know, writing is not rapturous. In fact, the only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts.

The first draft is the child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later. You just let this childlike part of you channel whatever voices and visions come through and onto the page. If one of the char­acters wants to say, “Well, so what, Mr. Poopy Pants?,” you let her. No one is going to see it. If the kid wants to get into really sentimental, weepy, emotional territory, you let him. Just get it all down on paper, because there may be something great in those six crazy pages that you would never have gotten to by more rational, grown-up means. There may be something in the very last line of the very last paragraph on page six that you just love, that is so beautiful or wild that you now know what you’re supposed to be writing about, more or less, or in what direction you might go—but there was no way to get to this without first getting through the first five and a half pages.”

― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

photo credit: James Hall