Saturday Evening Meanderings - My Week

So many of you have sent me cards and notes and emails to wish me well in my retirement - Thank You.  And a lot of you have asked how my first week in this new phase of my life has been going.  Well, I have to say, in all honesty, so far it only feels like I'm on vacation.  Just one of those lovely "stay-at-home" vacations. 

I've read a lot (imagine that!), and I've done some blogging and I've played a lot on my laptop.  I have one very big complaint.  I'm able to read my favorite blogs, but leaving comments on some is problematic (heck of a problem to have, huh?).  You know, we're on dial-up here on the edge of the wilderness.  So those of you who think I've been missing your blogging this week - not so.  I just can't always leave my comments.  And then too, some of you might have wished I had left some of my comments to myself this week.  I'm speaking of the heartbreaking piece Sarah Strohmeyer wrote for The Lipstick Chronicles about Melissa Mia Hall. If you missed it, I encourage you to read it, even though it will break your heart.   It may make you furious, and it may make you want to do something, like write to your representatives (like I did).

Sticking to my rule about attempting to balance out the negative with the positive - - there are benefits to our internet service being slow, so I'm not going to complain too loudly about it.  Actually, it's one of those things I could use to my benefit.  I could use it as an exercise to learn a bit of patience.  (we'll see how that goes . . . ).

I've also been able to keep up with the laundry this week.  AND the dishes, and I've actually even cooked a few meals.  All this in an effort not to feel that "I am already dreadfully inclined to indolence, lassitude, self-indulgence and procrastination."  (that's stolen borrowed directly from Amanda Cross IN THE LAST ANALYSIS.  I've recently discovered Ms. Cross' Kate Fansler mysteries and am besotted with them).  Aside from that, all in all, I think living the life of a reclusive housewife suits me to a "T."  I know that it wouldn't have a few years ago (I tried it, and it didn't), but the role seems to fit quite nicely now.

Another really good thing is being home with Harley Doodle Barley.  Margaret M. thought it would be fun for me to see what he's up to while we're gone.  Well, so far - he appears to just kinda sleep a lot.  Tasha Tudor said she believed Corgis have a lot of "cat" in them, and I do believe she was right.  Not that he has turned down any offers for a little walk outside though.  

Another good thing this week brought was an end to my haggling with our insurance company.  You'll remember, perhaps, the blog I wrote back in July about the insurance company denying claims for the helicopter ride Donald had to make from Boone to Asheville in May when he had a heart attack.

Well, this latest battle has been with the same insurance company denying the claims for the hospital stay during this same incident (or as we now refer to it here at home "that incident from back in May").

Suffice to say - with perseverance (like a pit bull), the good guys (that would be US), win again.  Y'all - I know many of you have had very good response from your insurance.  But some of you,  in all likelihood, may go through this torture of fighting them for what's fair and right at some point in your lives.  Please, please, please don't give up the battles.  Seek help anywhere and everywhere you can.  Keep a log of every phone call you make to the hospital, the doctors' offices, and the insurance company.  Note every person's name you speak with, the date AND the time and what the discussion included.   Arrange for a conference call with all parties involved and take notes on what everyone says.  Get your insurance commissioner involved.  Get your government representatives involved.  Get the media involved if necessary.  Do NOT let them intimidate you into giving up.  If you need to hire an attorney - do it.  A good attorney will handle this on a contingency basis so that you shouldn't end up winning the battle, but coming out of it broke.  

So, as you can see - it's been a week of ups and downs.  But more ups.  Way more ups.

My office sent me off with a lovely "do."  Nice things were said and lovely gifts were given. 

 

 
I only teared up a little.  No big emotional scenes, but I admit I came close.  The first time when my first Chair (Dr. Jesse Taylor, the man who hired me) in the Dept. of Philosophy and Religion said some awfully sweet things - 

Remember me telling you about how very much I loved and would miss a particular piece of art which hung in my office?  

A collage by Janet Bloch.

Dear Prudence.

I adore this collage.  I would even make up little stories in my mind about it.

My department decided to give the collage to me as my retirement gift.  But.  That didn't work out.  It's part of a permanent collection at Appalachian State University's Turchin Center for the Visual Arts (which is faboo!).  But the Turchin Center got in touch with Ms. Bloch and made arrangements for me to have a signed print.

How sweet is that?!

Was I touched?! Pfttttt - I guess!  I was a puddle!

I don't have the print yet - but soon.

What I do have is a framed certificate saying "The bearer of this certificate is entitled to a framed, artist-signed print from the original "Dear Prudence" by Janet Bloch.

I love this.  And I've chosen THE perfect spot for it to hang.  Life is good.

And then came one more teary moment (but not till I had left the building), and it came when I said good-bye to my present boss - well, present up until we said out good-byes.  Dr. Conrad Eugene Ostwalt. aka "Ozzie."  No one could ever make up a boss as good as this one.  I will miss him.

 Then, the next evening my neighborhood gave me a little party.  One again - another of life's little gifts; our neighborhood.   It's the type of neighborhood people dream about living in, but don't really believe they exist.  Well, I''m here to tell you - they do.  How we were lucky enough to find this one is beyond me, but we do dearly love it.  (as a side note - they're all just the teeniest bit nuts - I mean that, of course, only in the nicest way).

Next up -

dinner with some of my favorite women on God's green earth - The Nutz - ta DA!

And rambling on, as I'm wont to do - there were some additional lovely things associated with my retirement.

Lovely words written by very good, and very cherished friends.  Bo Parker, Earl Staggs, and Ken Lewis.  Thank you - you guys are the best  . . . 

"I want to take this opportunity to offer a testimonial and a toast.

As one who has spent only a few minutes compared to the many hours

Kaye Barley has spent promoting the mystery genre as the host of

Meanderings and Muses, words within my vocabulary are not adequate to express the appreciation I have for her efforts.

Nor are they adequate to express the pleasure I have received from

the fact she opened her virtual door to others, providing an

opportunity for enjoyment and enlightenment that I know I would not have otherwise experienced.

So I ask all other DLers to join me in a toast to Kaye, Donald, and

Harley (yes, they are part of M&M).

Retirement opens a door to an almost endless list of opportunities.

It is my wish that you experience all of them, and find joy, peace,

and contentment in each and every one."

Bronson L. "Bo" Parker

January 27, 2011

It started right here on DorothyL. Kaye posted a picture of her mom and dad. I went to have a look and saw something familiar behind them. They were standing in front of Memorial Stadium on 33rd Street in Baltimore where I spent many Sunday afternoons cheering for Johnny Unitas and the Baltimore Colts. I had to write her a private email to ask if she was from my hometown.

That started a long line of correspondence between us. Turned out she was not from Baltimore, but her family visited there often. Kaye grew up in Cambridge, a small town on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. I passed through there hundreds of times on my way to Ocean City. We chatted about how you can’t get better crabcakes anywhere in the world, about the magnificent beach and Boardwalk in Ocean City, the fudge they make there (finger-smackin’ good), Thrasher’s French Fries (world famous), and Maryland-grown tomatoes (slurpable right off the vine).

Before we were halfway through sharing our memories of Maryland, I was completely and unabashedly charmed. I’d never met anyone so delightful in my life. The way she talked about her adored husband, Donald, and Harley Doodle Barley, the Wonder Corgi. From her “Boy, howdy” to her signature “Pfffft,“ I looked forward to her emails with a warm smile.

She even sent me a box of fudge.

Then, she dropped the bomb. “I’m not a writer,” she said. “I’m only a reader.”

ONLY a reader? Pffft! Readers are more important than writers. Readers like her are why we do what we do.

NOT a writer? Boy, howdy! What is a writer but someone who strings words together in such a way you’re drawn into her world and want to stay there and whose infectious personality and love of life shine through in every sentence?

“You’re the most naturally gifted writer I know,” I argued. She countered with she’d have to learn how before she could be a writer. “Don’t even think about learning how to be a writer,” I persisted. “Just be natural and be yourself.”

I may have gotten through to her because she started a little blog called “Meanderings and Muses.” She began by writing about her life and the people in it and “squealed” about books she liked. Then she started inviting other people to guest blog on the site. Now, the guest list looks like a Who’s Who of the best writers around. I know those writers, like me, look forward to the entries by the Belle of Boone herself.

So that’s how it started, and my love affair with Kaye is still going strong, even though we’ve never met in person. One of these days, I hope to drive up to her house in Boone, North Carolina, and give her the biggest hug she’s ever had in her life. I’ll shake Donald’s hand, give Harley a good scratching behind the ears, and go inside full of hope she baked a cake that day.

Then I’ll pester her once again about writing her memoirs, something she absolutely must do now that she’s retired.

Tonsahugs to you, Kaye Darlin', as you begin a new chapter in your life.

Earl Staggs

January 29, 2011

Dear Kayester:

A little retirement poem for you:

For years she labored

And slaved at school

Then started a blog

That's oh so cool

She's retired now

And home every week

But all of us know

She's not ready to peak

She'll Meander here

And Muse over there

Keep on trimming

Her cute pixie hair

She'll laugh, and cry

Spit coffee from her nose

While bringing her readers

The best in prose

She's "Kaye from Boone"

Remember her name!

Retired, or not

She'll still be the same

Chief Kenneth R. Lewis

January 29, 2011 

Did I boo-hoo when I read these sweet words from friends I treasure?!

Pfft!

what do you think?!

a total and complete puddle.



but in a very good way.

Welcome to My Virtual Retirement Party

Ta DA!

Retirement Day!

Yippee!

Today's the big day!

Welcome to 

My Virtual Retirement Party

It's not easy finding the right music for a retirement party - but we're giving it our best shot - Thanks to the Meanderings and Muses crowd who sent some great suggestions.

Happy Retirement to me,  Happy Retirement to me . . .

Here are a few images reflecting how I'll be spending my days -

A perfect opportunity for me to use one of my very favorite videos of one of my very favorite songs by one of my very favorite singer/songwriters - enjoy

This day will definitely be one of the diamond days . . .

January 28, 2011

Retirement Day - Yay!

Have some cake and a glass of champagne

and a truffle or two - - -

and a strawberry . . . 

or two . . . 

Coming of Age at Age 62

People who know me, know I cannot shut up about something once its tweaked my interest.  I rattle on and on and expect everyone else to find it every bit as interesting as I do, and just don't "get it" when they don't.  Well, that's not true. I do "get it," but don't have enough sense to just let it be.

Except recently when I announced at DorothyL that I had just discovered Amanda Cross. I was tickled pink to be welcomed with a volley of on-list and off-list conversations from a host of people who also love her (and one person who doesn't), but were lucky enough to have discovered her many years before I did.  

I was on page 15 of SWEET DEATH, KIND DEATH when I read this:  " . . .  She had a theory about middle age.  She thought of it as a time quite different from the earlier years, cut off from the ghosts of the past.  One might recall those ghosts; most people, she thought, recall them too often.  But they need no longer haunt one.  You have the sense she spoke of, of life able to begin again, if one will but let it."

Hooked.  I was hooked.  I loved every word of this book, and in the meantime have become quite besotted with Amanda Cross.  

From Amazon.com - - - "Amanda Cross is a pseudonym for Dr. Carolyn G. Heilbrun, the revered Columbia University professor whose WRITING A WOMAN'S LIFE and other nonfiction volumes are recognized as ground-breaking classics in literary criticism and feminist studies."

Note:  Dr. Heilbrun died in 2003.  An apparent suicide, a note was found nearby which read  "The journey is over.  Love to all."

As I mentioned at DorothyL, it seems serendipity had a hand in my discovery of a book that's been in my "to be read" stacks for . . .  well, I have no idea for how long.  That I should run across it when I did strikes me as one of those little  "fortuitous accidents" that just happen.  Fortuitously.  This is a book which, aside from the mystery story, delves quite deeply into theories about how women age, obviously written by a feminist.  A book of fiction, written in a style that I find quite lovely and gently, subtly, humorous.  And written in an environment of higher education.  Having worked as a secretary in two different universities for the past 30 years, it just felt like home.   And moved me to reflect a little on the fact that since turning 60 a couple of years ago, I have, without giving it thought, started doing "new to me" things.   To say that SWEET DEATH, KIND DEATH struck a nerve is understating the impact.


Bear with me, please and sit back while I tell you a tale.

The summer of '08 I took an art class at Cheap Joe's Art Stuff.  Cheap Joe's is pure heaven for artists, and for dabblers like me.  Heaven!  The class I took was one in mixed media collage, taught by the talented Cathy Taylor.  The class was a week long, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. for five days.  Just like a work week, only not.  Entering the studio with a group of people of varying levels of talent and experience, but all feeling that urge and/or need to scratch a creative itch was quite an experience.  I loved every second.  I'm hoping to be able to do this again, in the meantime, I'm also hoping to use some of what I learned and do some more collages here at home.  I have a fascination with them, and what can be done is just never-ending.  Tapping into my imagination to see what I come up with is going to be a lovely little adventure I'm anxious to get on with.

In July '08, I was asked by the lovely, fun and talented women at The Stiletto Gang to write a piece about my smoking and trying to quit.  That was the first piece of writing I ever did.

Next thing I know, in September I was  invited by another lovely, fun and talented woman, JT Ellison,  to do a guest piece at Murderati.  This one about the "Internet Water Cooler."

Then in October I went to Baltimore for my first ever mystery conference.  And, of course, I chose to start this little mystery con adventure off with not just any mystery con, but the biggest of 'em all.  And, oh my, I am so glad I did.  Saying that it was a life changing experience might sound trite to some, but to many others, you know exactly what I mean.   Bouchercon was so special, and filled me so full of things I wanted to share, nothing would do until I wrote about it.  And, so.  Meanderings and Muses was born.

And then in November 2008, I turned 60.

Not until just the past week or so have I put all those events together.  Had I given conscious effort to turning 60, determined to do things I'd only thought about doing, it's doubtful I would have done them with as much joy and freedom.  It would, I think, have felt forced and contrived.  I would have been focusing on the "doing" instead of the "experiencing," I think.  Instead, I now realize I've been living my very own "coming of age."  

But wait - there's more!  

(Oh, what picking up one little thread can lead to.  A spider's weaving is the best analogy I can think of.)

I happened upon a notice in Kathryn Stripling Byer's blog about submissions being accepted for a regional anthology.  Long story short, I had a piece accepted and was published in the oh so wonderful CLOTHES LINES, edited by the incomparable Celia Miles and Nan Dillingham.   A few weeks later, "Western North Carolina Women's Magazine" chose some pieces from  CLOTHES LINES to showcase in their magazine to help promote the book.  I was over the moon happy that my piece was one of those chosen.  Whod'a thunk?!  To say I'm proud of the experience is understating the obvious.  I was the proudest woman you have ever seen when I first saw my copy, and that joy has not diminished the teeniest bit. 

During all this, I got to know a number of incredible women who have written some incredible things.  And have been doing it much longer than I, and possess enormous talent that I only wish to have a smidgen of some day.  One of those women is Marlisa Mills.  Marlisa, besides being a psychologist in the Asheville area, is one of these super talented writers, who was a part of CLOTHES LINES.  And she writes a monthly column for (guess?) "Western North Carolina Women's Magazine."  In March, the topic of the magazine is to be "Coming of Age."  And guess who Marlisa has asked to be the monthly profilee?  Why, that would be me!  Ha!  Coming of Age.  It can, indeed, happen right around retirement age, I reckon.

Who knew?!

Next week will be my last week of work.  When I leave my office on Friday, I'm officially a retired person.  I am thankful beyond belief to know that I have a wealth of fun things to look forward to doing.  And even more to discover.

Life is good.

This coming of age event is being marked by some fun events.    I'm having dinner one night next week with gal pals (The "Nutz") in my book group, my office is having a small, quiet (as I requested) send off for me, and my neighborhood (the BEST neighborhood on God's little green earth) is having a little party also.  How lucky can one woman be?

In addition to the "real" parties, I'm throwing a "virtual" party.  It'll be held in two "virtual venues" on January 28th.  Here at Meanderings and Muses, and at Facebook -  I hope you'll drop by!

I'm Having a Party

In case anyone on God's green earth missed the news - I'm going to be retiring the end of this month.

AND -

Borrowing from a long and much loved DorothyL tradition - I'm going to have a "virtual party" to celebrate.  This way, some of my friends who aren't able to come by my office on Friday, January 28th to give me a real hug,  can stop by my virtual party and pass along a virtual hug.  And indulge in some virtual champagne, and some virtual chocolate cake and whatever else some of the virtual guests might bring along to share (virtually).

So - if you can - drop by Meanderings and Muses OR my Virtual Retirement Facebook page on the 28th for a little get-together. 

In the meantime - we're trying to come up with some good music for the event.

Here's a few some of us have come up with - if you have some more ideas, please share!

I'm Already Gone by The Eagles -

We've Gotta Get Out of This Place by The Animals -

and - Of course - - - -  

Working Nine to Five by Dolly Parton -

More good music suggestions?  Let me hear 'em, please!

More retirement stuff

Some of you have asked what I plan on doing once I retire.

First order of business, beginning Tuesday, February 1, 2011 will be a bit of R&R.

But I am going to need an office.  Right?!

After working in an office environment for so many years, I can't just all of a sudden NOT have an office.

Well - I have two new offices.

Two!

Both at home, so I can "work" in my jammies.

Actually, I was going to post these pictures as my last post of the year.  But I'm not a patient sort, and once something pops into my mind it seems to pop right out of my mouth.  Or fingers, as the case may be . . .

I thought it would be appropriate to post them at the end of the year as the cap of our year of office spaces.  So many of you who have been guests this year have (and will continue, hopefully, through the end of the year) sent me pictures of your offices and work spaces.  I've loved seeing them all, and have plans to compile them all into one posting.  It's been a fun thing.

In the meantime - here's my new workspace(s) - - -

Work Space #1

Work Space #2

Oh - I'm sure the offices will undergo a few changes, one of which will include a constant flow of flowers and chocolates

 

 

 

With generous amounts of coffee (Good Coffee!) throughout the day.

and lots of playtime with Harley Doodle Barley














AND - an occasional home-cooked meal for Donald !

and we'll all be happy little campers !

well, you might remember me telling you   -  I'm really not such a great cook . . . .