Solitude by J.T. Ellison

J.T. Ellison is the international award-winning author of eight critically acclaimed novels, multiple short stories and has been published in over twenty countries.

Ellison grew up in Colorado and moved to Northern Virginia during high school. She is a graduate of Randolph-Macon Woman's College and received her master's degree from George Washington University. She was a presidential appointee and worked in The White House and the Department of Commerce before moving into the private sector. As a financial analyst and marketing director, she worked for several defense and aerospace contractors.

After moving to Nashville, Ellison began research on a passion: forensics and crime. She has worked with the Metro Nashville Police Department, the FBI, and various other law enforcement organizations to research her books.

She lives in Nashville with her husband and the ghost of a poorly trained cat, and is hard at work on her next novel.

Solitude

by J.T. Ellison

We writers have voices in our heads. It’s just a fact of life. The voices speak to us, we write their words on the page, and people read the stories and are captivated, drawn into a land of make believe.

All right. Let’s be honest and call this what it really is. Controlled psychosis.

You laugh, but think about it. Where else in the world are you allowed to let the little voices in your head control your thoughts, your words, and your deeds? Hmmm?

Most writers are loners, happily spinning yarns with their imaginary friends day in and day out. Some of us are extroverts, getting a rush from interaction, gratified by teaching, or simply refilling the well on a night out with friends.

I’m one of those bizarre introverts who can unveil my personality at will, as necessary, for groups. The public me is a version of myself, the me I want to be. It’s like actors on the stage, playing a role. Or, for those of us who are terribly shy, it’s a bit like going to war.

You embellish yourself a bit. So you can make it through the night. You put on pretty clothes – armor. You do your makeup and your hair – helmet. You take a pill or have a glass – shield. And then, head to toe in metal and mail, you swan about, hoping you aren’t putting your foot into it too badly.

But that’s life, isn’t it? We all feel that momentary cringe when we think we’ve said something off, or insulting, or embarrassing. 99% of the time, no one takes your words the way you think they came out. As a matter of fact, everyone is so busy cringing that no one really hears what’s being said.

I hope.

Many of you know that Randy and I recently lost our beloved kitten, Jade, aka Thrillercat. Things have been very, very quiet around here. I’ve always seen myself as a quiet writer – I like the silence of being alone with my thoughts and my laptop – but it wasn’t until Jade passed away that I realized just how much I talked to her during the day. I ran bits of dialogue past her, or ideas, or questions. And she sat there, quiet as a mouse, and accepted all my thoughts. It is so bizarre not to have that sounding board anymore. And it’s been lonely.

I’m starting the tour for my newest novel, A DEEPER DARKNESS, April 17. I will be strapping on my armor and sallying forth into the world to talk about the book, and hopefully not put my foot in my mouth too many times. But this novel is about loss, and since I’ve been experiencing so much of my own lately, I’m girding myself to speak in public about that very issue.

  It’s the commonalities that make each of us connect with a book. Even quiet, solitude-loving writers need to come out of their shells every once in a while and connect with people. I hope to see you on the road, or at my videochat April 19 (6pm EST, details on my website under the Events tab) And maybe we can make each other feel a little less alone.

 

Messages

We find messages in many places

We find them in words, of course.

And in images.

We all "know" words  -  lots and lots of words  -  but only a handful know how to use words so beautifully that the message reaches out to us with a lightness of spirit that conveys feeling, and image, along with the message.

Too many think the more words they toss at us, the clearer the message.

Wrong.

I was touring through some of my favorite blogs the other day and read a message at Murderati from JT Ellison.  JT is going to take a little hiatus from Murderati.   Hopefully she'll be back next April.  In the meantime, I wish her well in all she does.  And I'm willing to bet we'll be seeing her accomplish some pretty incredible things.  I should say - "more" incredible things.   JT Ellison is a doll.  She's generous, smart, funny,  and one hell of a writer.  I love her to bits.  And I felt like she was talking directly to me with this piece she left us with.

I'd like to share it with you as I look out my window over these gorgeous mountains that I share my life with, and that bring me incredible peace.

Advice From a Mountain

Dear friend,

Reach new heights
Savor life's peak experiences
There is beauty as far as the eye can see

Stand in the strength of Your True Nature
Be uplifting
Follow the trails of the Wise Ones
Protect and preserve timeless beauty,
silence, solitude, serenity,
flowing rivers,
ancient trees

Rise above it all
Make solid decisions
Climb beyond your limitations
Leave no stone unturned
Never take life for granite


Get to the point
Patience, patience, patience
Life has its ups and downs
Let your troubles vanish into thin air
To summit all up
It's the journey step by step


Rock on!

~Ilan Shamir

For Love of a Good Cat by JT Ellison

JT Ellison is the bestselling author of the critically acclaimed Taylor Jackson series, including All The Pretty Girls, 14, Judas Kiss, The Cold Room, The Immortals and So Close the Hand of Death. Her novels have been published in 21 countries, and she was named "Best Mystery/Thriller Writer of 2008" by the Nashville Scene.

Her short stories have been widely published, including her award winning story "Prodigal Me" in the anthology Killer Year: Stories to Die For, edited by Lee Child, "Chimera" in the anthology Surreal South 09, edited by Pinckney Benedict and Laura Benedict, and "Killing Carol Ann" in First Thrills, edited by Lee Child.

She lives in Nashville with her husband and a poorly trained cat.

For Love of a Good Cat

by JT Ellison

I’ve been having trouble working lately. It’s not what you’re thinking - I’m not blocked. I’ve got plenty of ideas. I’ve got lots of time, full days free of encumbrances, all waiting patiently for words to fill the moments.

 
No, the reason I’m having so much trouble is my cat.

Jade is a tiger striped rescue who has never let me forget how much she appreciates the fact that I picked her.  When I first saw her at the pound, she was five weeks old, suffering from a bad cold. So bad that they were going to put her down. They can’t afford to have sick kittens in the cages; disease spreads too quickly among unloved animals.
 

They’d named her Tori. She had the most inquisitive, if rheumy, green eyes. I knew immediately I had to take her. I couldn’t let this poor thing get put down because she’d been weaned too early and struck out on her own, a little stripedy runaway. She had gumption, I could see that. Desires, dreams. She wanted a bigger world than the one she’d been dealt. She was a renegade. Perfect.

She was also a five-week-old kitten who was terribly sick. The vet around the corner took her in, nursed her back to health, and she came home with us. A yowling little ball of fur who was the most fiercely independent cat I’ve ever had.

She took up residence on the pillow at the corner of the l-shaped couch and pretty much stayed there for the next several months. She was a sweet, lovely little thing who didn’t like people food, wanted her chin scritchies on her terms, and determinedly made a friend out on my husband, who wasn’t what we like to call a cat person.
 

I adore her, as you can tell.
 

We go to special lengths for this cat. When we travel, she has her own personal babysitter who comes over and stays with her, watching television and reading books to her. She absolutely can’t be boarded, she turns into a neurotic, shaking mess around other animals. She’s afraid, afraid! of other animals – so scared that she’s an only child. When my parents come to visit, she takes up residence under my bed, hissing and growling at everyone who dares come near.

It’s hysterical, especially since she’s a regular hussy with anyone else who shows up on our doorstep. It’s only my parents, who arrive bearing their own cat and a little dog, that send her into paroxysms of kitty terror.

What must she have seen in those five weeks before we made her our own? What terrors haunted her days and nights? I’ll never know.
 

So Miss Jade, my fiercely independent, won’t allow herself to be picked up, I am my own cat, thank you very much, cat has suddenly turned into a lap cat.

This is a problem on numerous levels.
 

First, I use a laptop. Operative word – lap. I’ve been spreading a bit as I age, but I’m not to the point where I can accommodate a cat and a computer. And she doesn’t take no for an answer – she’s going to get in my lap whether I want her to or not.
 

We battle for several hours in the morning. She curls up while I’m going through my RSS Feeds, then jumps off. Rinse and repeat times about ten. The teakettle will be whistling, and I can’t get her off. Okay, okay. I should say I don’t have the heart to kick her off. It’s been a wintry winter in Nashville, with lots of snow and little sun, and she’s getting older, and her joints get cold. I debated getting her a heated blanket. But it’s nice to have a furball in your lap. She’s warm. She purrs. She gazes at me adoringly when I scratch her ears.

Yes, yes, I know. She’s playing into my ego. I’m enamored of the idea that this cat, who I chose, has also chosen me.
 

But wow, it’s hurting my word counts.
 

Jade is also the reason I got published. I worked for the vet who patched her up for three days (I thought I’d be working the desk, but he wanted me as a tech in the back. Bad. Bad. Bad. After my first neutering, I was done.) I was quitting on Friday, and on Wednesday I picked up a large golden and herniated a disc in my back. That led to surgery, and recovery time, and library books, where I discovered John Sandford. The rest, as they say, is history.
 

Tell me about your critters today! I’ll send one of you a copy of my new book, SO CLOSE THE HAND OF DEATH, which definitely isn’t about sweet, soft kittens, and make a donation to your local animal shelter.

It's my blog and I'll rant if I want to . . . . .

Here's the thing.

I love to rant. And that's exactly what this started out as.

But, I also try very, very hard to balance it by off-setting something I really dislike with something I like lots.

So, here's the rant I started with, but now infused with some good stuff, and a request at the end for you to play too.

I’m an imp. I’ve recently accused a friend of mine of being an imp (and she IS!), but I guess in all fairness, I should toss my hat into the circle of impdom also. But, you know – there are things loads worse than being an imp.

For instance.

There are those people who thrive on negativity. Ugh. Do they even KNOW they’re being negative? Do they have any idea how they suck the life out of everything around them? Or – very scary thought – is that their intent? Ugh. We all know some people like that, right? And sometimes we have to put up with them, but boy howdy – I’m getting pretty good about keeping them at a distance. And you know what – some of them don’t even realize they’re being kept at a distance! Pfft! That ought to show me how important I am, huh?!

Then there are the Drama Experts. God save me from these people who honestly believe their every ache, pain, illness or whatever is THE most extreme and THE worst ever. You have a headache?? Well, pafooey – the Drama Experts’ headache makes yours look like a weeny ache. And please. Do not even bother trying to discuss your broken arm/leg/finger/toe/back or skull with this person – it’s not broken in 46 beezillion places is it?! Well heavens, what’s to discuss?!

Then there are those people who possess not one iota of generosity. Share some good news with them and they “might” grudgingly say “Oh, I’m so proud of you!” in a tone that totally gives them away as being less than completely honest. Or, they manage to totally ignore the subject at all costs. And here’s where being an imp is the most fun ever. Knowing they want to pretend it doesn’t exist, put it right back on the table whenever and as often as possible. (hear the imp go Tee Hee).

The lack of generosity amongst friends is one I don’t get. Some of you may have heard this old saying – “She’d rather her drawers fall down around her ankles than say something nice about somebody.” Lordy – please don’t ever let me be that person. for real.

I’ve asked a lot of people about this recently, just 'cause its been on my mind, and learned that the phenomenon of friends not being able to share in friends' joy is a bit more widespread than we'd like to think. And I find it to be a sad thing.

One theory that some Facebook friends share is that they think those people must see the world as a "zero-sum game," meaning that someone else's success takes away from their potential to succeed. One of these friends says she prefers to think that success and happiness are as limitless as the universe, and that the more we celebrate, the more we have to celebrate. I agree and prefer to think that also – the other is too convoluted for my tired ol' brain to understand.

My friend Vickie has this quote at her Facebook page - "Whether you look for the positive in anything or look for the negative in anything, you will find it..."

I’m happy to say Vickie is one of those special people who most of the time manages to focus on the positive, and that is a lovely thing, indeed.

Another friend I've talked with about this managed to come up with a few quotes (I love quotes) that kinda hits this nail right on the head . . .


"Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success."--Oscar Wilde


"Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed."--Laurie Colwin

" A woman, if she is really your friend, . . . always desires to be proud of you." --- Sir Edward Bulwer-Lytton

and my very favorite of all . . .

"Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends until they are
dead;
Do not write them on their
tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead."
--Anna Cummins


But, you know what.

I don't want to talk about the things I don't like.

I want to talk about some things I like lots. And it just so happens that a couple of the people included in the "Things I Like Lots List" do, in fact, talk about this very thing. This thing I just purely hate. Negativity. And they do it brilliantly! I like it!

I've mentioned here before that there are some blogs out there that I try to read every day. I usually don't get to do that, but I do read them often enough that I'm able to discover true gems pretty often.

I'm going to try to start pulling out one or two every so often to share, and for today's sharing I've chosen two blogs that have been around for a long time.

One is Murderati, and one is The Lipstick Chronicles. It's no surprise that these two have stuck around for such a good while. They're what drew many of us to blogs in the first place. They're elegantly written by astute, bright people who don't mind putting their opinions, along with their feelings, out there for others to embrace. Or reject.

One of the Murderati regulars is Toni McGee Causey. This woman writes what I want to say. Over and over again, this woman writes what I feel. She writes like I would give my left foot to be able to write. She's just dazzling. And her Murderati piece of October 4th - "Positive and Negative Spaces" says worlds. Read it, please. You'll thank me. Betcha.

A member of The Lipstick Chronicles who seems to share some of my pet peeves (and temperament) is Kathy Sweeney. This is a woman I someday hope to meet. Another woman who writes what I want to say. When I read her piece of September 25th - "Time to Weed the Garden (or how to rid yourself of Toxic People)" I just squealed out loud. I wanted to find Kathy Sweeney and give her a hug. So here's another piece I'd like you all to read, please. Again - you'll thank me!

You know - this talking about things you like is fun! So here's another.

Books. Most of you are here because you love books. And you're creative. A lot of you are writers, but a lot of you are creative in totally different areas. What we do know is that creativity spawns creativity. Creativity recognizes creativity. It speaks loudly.

JT Ellison writes about this beautifully at Murderati, and here's another piece, In the Presence of Genius, I recommend. (yep - you'll thank me).

O.K. - so I meandered off my trail of thought there.

Back to what I wanted to share with you before the always brilliant JT Ellison popped into my mind . . .

Books. Don't most of us love being surrounded by books? We do.

There are never enough bookshelves in our homes, right?

Well, here's that love of books reflected in another way, and I just love it.

This is what I'll leave you with.

An image by a painter by the name of Victoria Reichelt who paints bookshelf portraits.

Tolstoi, oil on canvas, 2006, 50 x 50c

How very cool and lovely is that?


Now.

It's your turn.

Tell me what you love.

OR,

if you're in the mood to rant - tell me what you hate. But. Then you have to off-set it with something you love.

Fair?!

Fictionalizing Reality by JT Ellison

J.T. ELLISON is the bestselling author of the critically acclaimed Taylor Jackson series, including ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS, 14, JUDAS KISS and the forthcoming EDGE OF BLACK. She was recently named “Best Mystery/Thriller Writer of 2008” by the Nashville Scene. She is a former White House staffer who moved to Nashville and began research on a passion: forensics and crime. Ellison worked extensively with the Metro Nashville Police, the FBI and various other law enforcement organizations to research her novels. She is the Friday columnist at the Anthony Award nominated blog Murderati and a founding member of Killer Year. She lives in Nashville with her husband and a poorly trained cat. Please visit jtellison.com for more information.





Fictionalizing Reality
by JT Ellison

Twisted as I am, my imagination usually guides my stories. I dream up horrific endings by villainous creations (who end up giving me nightmares,) and terrorize my adopted hometown of Nashville with crazed killers. But up to now, every story I’ve written has been pure, straight out of my head, fiction.

I made an exception for JUDAS KISS. The fictional murder of my victim, Corinne Wolff, was based on a real case.

In 2006, I saw an article from a North Carolina newspaper about a young pregnant mother named Michelle Young who was found murdered by her sister. Her death was unspeakably violent, and her child had been alone in the house for days with her mother’s corpse. The media reported a number of salient details, including the bloody footprints the child had left through the house. I watched the case, hoping there would be a resolution. Unfortunately, Michelle Young’s murder still isn’t solved. Her husband is the prime suspect.

Her story became the opening of JUDAS KISS.

The crime stories that seem to capture our interest as a society are the ones that take place where we feel the safest, which is inside our own homes. That’s where the majority of homicides take place. And we all know how much the media loves a good suburban murder, especially in my fictional Nashville. In the novel, there’s a sense of the fantastic surrounding this case, an “it could have happened to me” mentality couple with the media frenzy – satellite trucks parks on quiet streets, reporters camped on the lawns, every moment chronicled. It doesn’t happen that way in the Section 8 housing. The drug and vendetta killings don’t make the news very much. So in a sense, I’m capitalizing on what does capture our attention.

But JUDAS KISS wasn’t the easiest book to write. Any time an author is faced with a child at a crime scene, a tightrope appears from your laptop, and gets thinner every moment you spend looking at it. It’s a difficult balancing act.

Bad things do happen to children. Bad things do happen to animals. I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of reading about either. Reality can stay out of my fiction, thank you very much.

So when I wrote the opening of JUDAS, I didn’t give it much thought, simply because I wasn’t killing Corinne Wolff’s child. I was in safe territory. But one of my independent readers was very unhappy with the opening. She was terribly upset with me for leaving Hayden Wolff alone with her mother’s dead body. “If the husband did it, there’s no way he would leave the child alone like that. No one would. You’re going to alienate mothers all across the country.” I was struck by that statement, obviously. That’s not the goal behind these stories.

So I sent my reader the links to the real case. In the book, I’d actually toned down some of the “real” parts because they were so dreadful. My reader came back with a new eye – she understood now. She was horrified by the real case, understood what I was doing. She realized that I never set out to shock or offend with this story. I only wanted to give the real victim, Michelle Young, some closure. Her story affected me in ways I couldn’t imagine. I’ve found that reality can sometimes throw me for a loop.

We mystery writers are a strange lot. We write about murder and mayhem all day. We walk a fine line between victims and victimizing. I try very, very hard to make sure the violence in my books is never gratuitous. I always strive to make sure that my victims have a reason, a place, a purpose. They aren’t just dead bodies stacking up like cordwood to move the story along. That’s just not why I wanted to write crime fiction. I wanted to find ways to give some justice to those who didn’t have anyone to fight for them, to right the wrongs, and penalize the guilty. In my books, the bad guys get caught, and they are punished. Justice is served. The white hats win. That’s why I got into crime fiction.

But it doesn’t stop me from wishing I could do something for the Michelle Young’s of the world.

Why I'm Here, and Ta DA! - Introducing the Meanderings & Muses 2009 Dream Team

I have a cold.

I hate colds.

It would be so easy to fall into “poor pitiful me” stuff, and I’ll admit to a little of that, but honestly? Whining gets on my nerves, so I try awfully hard not to do it. ‘Course, I don’t always succeed, but dang - what can be more fun sometimes than an all-out wailing, poor, poor, pitiful me party, complete with a gallon of ice cream and one huge spoon while dressed in your favorite jammies. Boy howdy.

O.K. - two spoons.

Donald has the same cold and is fighting the pity party thing right along with me.

But. As tempting as it may be, I just can’t be pititful right now. Anyone who has been graced with the kind of support and friendship I have this week couldn’t dare allow themselves to fall into pitidom.

After years of not understanding the world of blogging and swearing it wasn’t for me, when I step back and take a look at where I am now, it makes my head swimmy. Not only am I writing a blog, I have what can only be a blogger’s dream team lined up to play with me for the whole of next year. Take a look at this list on the left - Gloriosa.

A lot of you are going to remember me saying I was not a fan of blogging. Talk about eating your words - oy. Though, I must say, in this particular instance, I am happy to do so. But. HOW did I get here, especially with this tremendous group of people agreeing to do guest spots at Meanderings and Muses, along with a group of people who have written me asking that I continue blogging after I wrote a couple of pieces, just because they enjoy what I have to say? How on earth did this happen?

Well, for one thing Meanderings and Muses wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for Robin and Deborah who have written me with ideas and suggestions they want me to write about. They have shown a level of support and encouragement that has floored me, but as it happens, they've provided just the push I guess I needed to do this. I just didn't know it.

And I can tell you for sure it wouldn’t have happened without a group of people who need to remain nameless because it’s a VERY secret society. A group gathering almost daily on the internet to chat, gossip, support one another in a myriad of activities, and occasionally get irritated with one another. They’re the group of people who tapped my desire to write these pieces you’ve seen and will continue to see here. It a group I love without bounds.

Oh, O.K. - one name I gotta give up.

Earl Staggs. Or as you’ve seen me refer to him all over the internet; “Earl Darlin’.” Earl is one of my favorite people on God’s green earth. He’s also one of my favorite writers. He’s a master. If you haven’t read his short stories, you’re missing out. If you haven’t read his MEMORY OF A MURDER, gracious - what ARE you waiting for??

Additional reasons I'm here include that very first invitation to blog from Evelyn David at The Stiletto Gang (Thank You, Rhonda and Marian!), with follow up invites from JT Ellison at Murderati, and Rob Walker at Acme Authors, and Patti Abbott for her Friday's Forgotten Books. Thanks, guys - very much. More than I can say.

As for the guests you’re going to find here next year, as you can see they include writers who are well known, writers who are on their way to becoming well known, and some who are just getting started, bloggers, readers and mystery fans. If there’s one common thread, besides being lovers of books and words, its that each and every person you see here as a guest will write something that will touch you in some way. It might make you cry, or laugh, possibly anger you, or just make you think. Remember please, that it will not necessarily be an opinion that matches mine, but the very thought of censoring what someone says disgusts me as much as I’m sure it does you. It might be a light and fluffy piece about cooking or what someone did on their summer vacation, or it might be hard and tough. It might just be something they have on their mind and want to share or get off their chest. That’s what I’ve discovered blogging is all about. A sharing in which the writer invites others to participate and give back. An exchange of words, ideas and/or feelings in which things get tossed around and back and forth.

That’s another part of the puzzle of how I came to start Meanderings and Muses. I gave in and actually started reading blogs as I would hear about them. I swore I didn’t have time to do this - and really, who does? There are a beezillion of them out there. But as you browse your way through them you come to realize that while they’re not all for you, some of them are touching you in some way and you find yourself going back for more. Or they’re providing one place in which to give you information you’re interested in - such as one of my all time favorites; Sarah Weinman’s “Confessions of an Idiosyncratic Mind.”

There are several which have me captured, and I’ve added them here as a permanent part of Meanderings and Muses with links so that you can all get to them quickly. And will add more as I discover them, so send me recommendations, please! I don’t read them all every day, but I always know that when I do settle down for a day of catching up on things, they’re there and I’m going to enjoy them. They’re just like books in that some writers will appeal to you, while others will not. Its no surprise that some of my favorite blogs are written by some of my favorite writers. Over time, I am no longer surprised that some of them are written by people I’ve never heard of. Voices that may never find their way to the New York Times Best Seller list, or be the recipient of one of the awards given out at writer/fan conventions. And you know what - that’s not the goal for many of these writers. That does not, however, diminish their writing skills in any way. Not one iota. You know this to be true. So take a minute and take a peek at some of the blogs I have listed here and possibly discover a new voice you’ll enjoy.

What has evolved from the early days of blogging is that there are many bloggers who have a dedicated following. I know, for instance, that when I drop in at “Murderati” to see what any of those wonderful people (GREAT writers, every one!) have to say, the chances are that I’m going to run into the same folks leaving comments most days. They have become an integral part of the group. Seeing their responses is as interesting, and as important, as the original post. And what’s become obvious is that while we agree on a lot, there are things we’re not going to agree on. The interaction that then takes place is just like it would be if it were happening in the real world. A quick little snappy retort, some hurt feelings, some apologies and some making up. I find this phenomenon immensely intriguing.

So, I hope you’ll continue watching this spot. I can’t promise you there will be something new and exciting here every day - actually I can promise you that there won’t be! I have a job, and I have Donald and Harley, and I have to read (a LOT) or I get grumpy. One little tidbit I really do want to share (I'm a pushy old thing sometimes, you know). Women out there reading this who are not married. This is some good advice, people - listen up!! Make sure, please, if you do decide to marry, that you marry a man who makes you laugh. And if he can make you laugh every single day of your life for over 22 years like Donald Barley has me (well - O.K. - not "every" day, but a gracious plenty of 'em), you'll be able to handle whatever curves life throws at you.

So.

On January 12th one of my favorite people, a very good friend and an excellent writer, Pat Browning will kick off Meanderings and Muses, 2009. Mark your calendars and come see what she has to say and chat with her a bit. She wrote the book FULL CIRCLE, which has just been re-released under the title ABSINTHE OF MALICE. Its terrific! If you’re a member of the community of DorothyL, you’ve seen me and a bunch of other people rave about Pat's book.

Then dear friends, stick around. I can promise you a year filled with people you’ll enjoy. I know the schedule you see here will be changing, so keep your eye on it, please.

Which brings up a point. Emails and announcements. I know I’ve been sending out a lot of emails while this project has been getting off the ground. If you’re like me, they’re not really always appreciated. So tell me if you want your name removed from the mailing list. You are not going to hurt my feelings - I promise.

Happy Holidays, all!

Guest Blog at Murderati on September 19, 2008

This is part of a post which originally appeared at Murderati on September 19, 2008.

I am tickled and honored to have been asked to drop in here by JT while she’s off gallivanting. I have no idea what the woman was thinking, do you? I’m no writer and my resume includes exactly one blogging gig besides this one. But, we all love her, and I for one don’t want to disappoint her so what the heck, let’s see where it takes us, and have some fun with it. Being invited places is always nice. But dang - being invited someplace to speak your opinion is just about as cool as it gets.

My one and only other blog gave me the opportunity to write about my experiences and feelings about smoking and quitting. That I was invited by the delightful women at The Stiletto Gang was a kick and I had a lot of fun. After reading what I had written, JT suggested I consider writing my impressions on how the internet compares to the figurative office water cooler. Smoking and quitting was a fairly easy thing for me to write about since it was all direct experience. After thinking about JT’s suggestion for this piece, and fretting about it a little, I realized how the two pieces are actually part of the whole.

The first thing that pops into my mind when I think about the office water cooler is probably the same image that pops into your heads as well. It’s the cartoon we’ve all seen for years - a group of people clustered around the cooler, little paper cones of water in hand, engaged in conversation and looking thoroughly entertained with themselves. We know, of course, they aren’t really there for the water. Nope, this is where everyone knows to come to meet up with co-workers and buddies to exchange a bit of gossip, catch up on office news, talk about last night’s ball game and/or night on the town, and, in some cases, over time, form significant friendships. It's the place I might have gone for some words of encouragement while I was trying to walk away from my cigarettes.

There’s just not a lot of hanging out around a water cooler these days. Literally or figuratively. Offices that once had plenty of staff to get the necessary work done are now making do with a lot fewer people, which means not nearly as much free time to hang around and visit with co-workers. Not as many co-workers either. With the economy the way it is, and jobs disappearing the way they are – who can afford to be seen goofing off and hanging around the water cooler? Much easier to goof off and visit with friends over the internet. Hooray email, discussion groups, Facebook and blogs! The newest equivalent to that tired old water cooler. And an answer to an introvert’s prayers. Someone who may not have felt comfortable joining these water cooler groups may find their niche in an internet group. (A fun topic for another day, don’t you think?)

Some of us have worked long enough that we can easily remember when the water cooler hangout was a reality. And if, come Monday morning, you didn’t care about discussing football, you knew which office water cooler to avoid. There were days you just didn’t want to listen to that guy tell you why your favorite team lost again. Same deal with internet cruising, but better – no one can force you to listen to their opinion, ‘cause you’re in charge. You can even walk away without hurting anyone’s feelings. You are the master of your browser. Don’t like what that person’s got to say? Ta da – Hit that delete key! Or your scroll key, or, by gum - just leave. You can go anywhere you want to go, and meet a whole lot of people along the way. You can collect a group of like-minded souls to hang out with, and you can leave behind those you don’t want to spend time with. Leave one water cooler and find another. We’ve all managed to find our own special on-line water cooler. We’ve all met friends who may have started out as “virtual” friends, and who may in fact still be “virtual” in that we have not yet met face to face. But their importance in our lives has, in many instances, become every bit as important as the friends we see on a regular basis.

Those of us who hang around the internet a lot have learned that you bump into the same people quite often while you’re cruising around, which makes sense, of course. Those interested in books and reading are going to be hanging out at websites, blogs, and discussion groups that focus on books and reading. Folks who are interested in building treehouses probably run into the same group of people wherever they tramp around on-line. Bumping into the same people at different internet groups brings, at first, name recognition. After awhile you’re able to remember certain little things that go with the name – if they’re smart and funny, or dreary and sarcastic, if they seem kind, or tend to be grumpy and cynical. From this initial awareness, a casual acquaintance might blossom into a friendship. The casual camaraderie we experience over the internet has become a daily part of our lives.

There is, of course, the dark side of this relatively new social networking in the cyber world we’re all a part of, but for today, let's focus on the positive. We’ve all met people who have become quite dear, and quite important to us. I’m still a bit amazed and in awe of this phenomenon, and would enjoy hearing from some of you about your experiences with it and feelings regarding it all.

And to the Murderati group – Thanks so much for having me. You’re the best!

Comments left for the original post can be seen at Murderati.