Won't you wear a mask, please?

I wish I was in Paris,
but the lady doesn't want me.

Okay, so I've always wanted to visit Italy.
Nope, she's giving me the boot.

Greece?  I haven't seen you in years!
Oh, don't want to see me this year either I guess.

Australia!  My friends there will welcome me, surely.
Oh.  My mistake.

Barcelona!  I have longed to kneel at the altar of the genius of Gaudi.
Nope - Gaudi does not care.

Japan - no.  Algeria - stay away.  New Zealand - pfft. No.  Rwanda - Really?  NO??  South Korea - No.  Really?  Really.  No.  Morocco, Thailand, Tunisia, Uruguay?  You are kidding . . .  NO

Oh, Norway - Svalbard, Svalbard wants me to see her Northern Lights.
She doesn't?  Oh.  Not this year . . . 

Belgium tells me if I want some of her chocolate, I'm welcome to order on-line.

Bulgaria, Czech Republic, Croatia, Cyprus - all shout "stay the hell away."

Have a beer in Germany?  Nope.  nopeNopenopeNope.

Denmark!  You're known to be one of the happiest places in the world, and honey - I am needing some happy . . .  oh.  

Estonia?  no.

Finland!  I hear you folks are even happier than Denmark.  Surely, you're willing to share some of that happiness with a . . . No.  You're not.  Actually, I understand.

Iceland?  no.

Hungary, Latvia, Lithuania - what do you say?
no.

Places I've never cared to go don't even want me.

The Netherlands.  Love to join some of you in a "coffee house" for a cup of coffee and a smoke . . .  not interested??  But you guys have always been so friendly!

Liechtenstein - never mind.  I understand. And you sure don't need my money.

Malta?  Even though I'm not really sure exactly where you are?  No.  okay . . . 

Poland.  Romania.  Luxembourg.  Slovakia.  Slovenia.  Sweden.  Switzerland.  No no no no no and no.  Damn.

Canada, then.  Always nice to visit with a neighbor.  
Oh. 

The EU+ area—Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, the Czech Republic, Croatia, Cyprus, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Italy, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, the Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, and Switzerland—all agree.  

The (once)United States of America needs to stay home until they get their Corona Cooties under control.  

This is even worse than having head lice.

Even though the intelligent folks of the (once)United States of America are doing all the right things - social distancing, masks, and washing our hands.  (I said the "intelligent!")

The insane piggy man in the (once)United States of America's White House and his equally idiotic, not very smart, cohorts have convinced the not intelligent folks of this (once)United States of America that the Corona Cooties are politically aligned with a particular party.

<snort>

They don't need no stupid masks!

They can dance under the light of the silvery moon with 100 or more of their best un-masked pals.

(oh, wait - probably not really a great idea after all - how many party animals have died from Corona Cooties in the (once)United States of America? )

Sadly that number is mixed right in with the deaths of smart people who were staying home or wearing masks and trying to the do the right thing.

But.

You party animals (political or otherwise) brought those cooties home with you, or to work with you.

Or to church with you.

You gave them to your mom and your dad, your brothers and your sisters.

Your kids.

You stupid, stupid party (political or other) animal.

The EU+ area—Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, the Czech Republic, Croatia, Cyprus, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Italy, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, the Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, and Switzerland—all agree that this is pretty stupid.  Pretty unbelievable, seeing as how well they've done in comparison to the (once)United States of America.

And so, until the (once)United States of America starts paying attention to Science instead of Political Party Fools, I guess we're all going to vacation at home.  Those of us still lucky enough to have homes (and that may not be for a whole lot longer).

'Cause it's all about the economy.

But - you know what? - that $1200 the guvment "gave" us didn't really go too far.

Howsomever (as my dad used to say), if  "you're one of 43,000 taxpayers, who earn more than $1 million annually, then you're all set to receive a $1.7 million windfall, on average, thanks to a provision buried in the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act."  LUCKY YOU!

But you still can't go to Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, the Czech Republic, Croatia, Cyprus, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Italy, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, the Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, and Switzerland 'cause they think you have Corona Cooties too.  Poor you.

And, oh yeah, you can scratch Mexico off your vacation list.  They don't want us either.  And didn't even need to build a wall; oh the irony . . .

And as of today - Scratch The Bahamas.


Because some of you refuse to wear a mask.

And the rest of us?

We want to punch your maskless face in.

But right now we're trying to wrap our heads around the fact that some of you are missing the simple fact that you're likely to get very sick.  

And you might die.

And people who are very sick aren't going to be out shopping spending money or otherwise engaged in helping the economy.

And you sure as hell aren't going to be much help if you're dead.

But.  I wish you health and happiness and a chance to someday visit another country where you can open your eyes, your mind, and your heart and just possibly learn a few things.

In the meantime, won't you consider wearing a mask?