Tuesday, November 27, 2018

just do it. Or don't.

For years and year and years and years women have debated whether they wanted to allow their hair to go natural, or color it.  (This same discussion happens regarding women wearing or not wearing make-up too, but I'm 70, I just had my hip replaced, I only have the energy for one "discussion" at a time . . .  so insert the gripe of your choice). 

The "discussion" ALWAYS ends up with someone(s) getting their back up.

WHY are some women insistent that you MUST color your hair?

Why are some insistent that natural is the ONLY way to go?

WHY is your way the ONLY way?

oh,  Bull.  Shit.


Color it.

Or don't.

Be a brazen brunette.

Or a ravishing redhead.

Or a Barbie blond.

Who cares?

Emmylou silver.

Rose-gold or lavender streaks.



Bald as a baby's butt.

Long or short.

Do what you will,

Do what you want.

But Sweet Jesus, let others do for themselves without you butting in.

I've had to listen to "who wants hair the color of a sweatshirt?"

I've had to listen to "don't you miss your red hair?"

I've had good "friends" say "your hair looked SO much better short."

Did I ask your opinion?  


You know - I think everyone who knows me knows exactly, unequivocally, without a doubt, abso-fucking-lutely, just how I feel about unsolicited advice.

In this age of women (supposedly) supporting other women

WHY is this even a thing?

Wear age in-appropriate  (whatever that means) clothes if you're comfortable and you feel as though they look good.

Wear CFM stilettos if you want - OR orthopedic shoes if you choose.

But here's my last word on all this.

I do exactly as I wish and I wish you would too.

Monday, November 26, 2018

Today I Am Seventy

Happy Birthday to me!

I love birthdays. 

Especially milestone birthdays. 

Today I woke up knowing I'm now 70 years old. 


Do I feel old? 


Sometimes I feel so old I think I'm the most decrepit ol' broad on God's green earth.

But usually not.

Usually I just feel the same as I did thirty years ago.

If I go back too many more than thirty, I think I was maybe a different girl.

A little bit of a wild child.

A party hearty kinda kid.

And I wouldn't change a thing.

I was happy, and I was content.

The happy and content I am now is a totally different sort of happy and content, but every bit as lovely.

I've gone through some tough times, just the same as every one has.

I remember them clearly.

And I learned from them.

I maybe didn't learn from them right away, but eventually, like a smack to the head, the lesson became clear.

And I'm still learning.

And facing the fact that I don't have as many days ahead of me as I have behind me.

And that's okay.

But by golly, with Donald Barley by my side, I intend to continue making the most of them and being grateful for the blessings I have.

And I thank each of you for joining me along the journey.  

Happy Happy Birthday to me!

I Am Not Old

I am not old…she said
I am rare.
I am the standing ovation
At the end of the play.
I am the retrospective
Of my life as art
I am the hours
Connected like dots
Into good sense
I am the fullness
Of existing.
You think I am waiting to die…
But I am waiting to be found
I am a treasure.
I am a map.
And these wrinkles are
Imprints of my journey
Ask me anything.

~ Samantha Reynolds

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Thanksgiving Eve

I didn't do a month of thankfulness posts this year. But I am thankful for much. 

Mostly, I think I'm thankful that as much as I abhor Bubba Trump and am frightened by how he has helped evil people feel free to crawl out from under the rocks they had previously been hiding under, I am hopeful. 

For that, I am forever grateful.

And now off to the kitchen I go. There's prepping to be done! 

Happy Thanksgiving Eve, everyone.

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Medici Fountain in Luxembourg Gardens, Paris

We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there.
―Pascal Mercier, from Night Train to Lisbon

Medici Fountain in Luxembourg Gardens, Paris
Photo taken by Donald Barley

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

planning the next vacation

I have always been one who enjoys having something really special in the future to look forward to.


A birthday.

The beach.

A trip.

Having a big trip to look forward to, to read about, to plan, is just about my favorite thing in the world.

We've had some gloomy weather here lately which prompted me to want something fun to look forward to.  So, here's the gist of an on-going conversation Donald and I had over the course of several days.

Me:  I love being retired.

Donald:  Me too.

Me:  So.  Next year?  Want to take another trip?

Donald:  Let's do it.

Me:  Where to?

Donald:  Where were you thinking?

Me:  Italy?

Donald:  Suits me.

Me:  I'd love to go back to Greece.

Donald:  Suits me.

Me:  Never been to Spain.

Donald:  You know, I really didn't see as much of The Netherlands as I wanted.  When are those tulip gardens open?

Me:  I'll check.

  - - - - -

A few days later . . .

Me:  Keukenhof Gardens will be open from the 21st of March 2019 until the 19th of May.

Donald:  I've seen a show about that.  Looks awesome.

Me:  So, want to go back to Amsterdam?

Donald:  Sure.  I like it, but I feel like we just didn't see all we could have.

Me:  Okay, I'll check flights.  You know May is our anniversary.  33 years.

Donald:  Check it out.

- - - - -

a day or two later . . .

Me:  So.  Here's what I've found for flights.  You know.  That train trip we took from Paris to Amsterdam was pretty darn reasonable.  Want to go back to Paris?

Donald:  Now I KNOW I didn't see all I wanted to see in Paris.  Plus.  You know.  We have a job there that we didn't finish.

Me:  Photographing the carousels.

Donald:  That's right.  Can you get us an extension on our project?

Me:  I'll find out.

- - - -

The next day,

Me:  Mike says yes to the extension!  Yay!  Want to go back to Paris and get this job done?

Donald:  Let's do it.

Me:  It is our anniversary . . .

Donald:  33 years.

Me:  And there is still a LOT of things in Paris I still want to see.  Paris is not finished with me.

Donald:  I can't believe that (tongue in cheek).  And I can't believe you haven't seen every inch of Paris by now.  What's left?

Me:  Monet's Musee L'Orangerie, Chagall's ceiling at the Opera Garnier, we didn't get to the big flea market, Gallery Lafayette, the covered passages - like Vivienne.  I haven't seen Giverny in the spring . . .

Donald:  Guess we better go back to Paris.  Can we afford it?  Better find us some decent airfare.

Me:  I'll check.

- - - -

Me:  Here's what I've found for flights.

Donald:  Not as good as the last time.

Me:  No.

Donald:  What do you think?

Me:  What do you think?

Donald:  Let's think about it.

- - - - -

The next day.

Me:  So. Paris and Amsterdam?

Donald:  Paris is still "business," right?

Me:  Still need more pictures of the carousels we didn't get.  For the book.  So, yes.  Business.  Business AND pleasure.

Donald:  Let's think about it.

- - - - -

Me:  What do you think?

Donald:  About the trip?

Me:  Yeah.

Donald:  What the hell.  Let's do it.

Me.  Yay!  But we'll go some place different next year.

Donald:  We'll see.

Me:  Life is short.

Donald:  That it is . . .

Monday, November 12, 2018

Hip hop hooray!

i have been remiss in sharing news about my "hip healing gig" as a friend refers to it. 

The hip is coming along. 

Better every day, but it was a slow start.

 There was more damage than originally thought, and I have a very impressive 6" incision scar.

 Still a ways to go, but SO much better than I even imagined just 2 weeks ago. And yes, I am doing my PT exercises as directed.

I am not quite up to dancing on tables yet, but getting there. 

I have tossed my cane aside, for the most part. (Anyone here old enough to remember when Oral Roberts had a TV show?  He would smack people in the head <hard!> And tell "HEAL!" < loudly!> And once crippled folk would throw their crutches into the air and literally dance and run off the stage back to their much overcome loved ones). It hasn't been quite so dramatic here.

Thank you all for all for the good wishes!

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

The beginning of change

Lifting my coffee cup in a silent and grateful toast to the beginning of change. 

Here's to the newly elected 100+ women members of Congress. 

Latino, African American, Muslim, Native American, LGBTQ, Somali American, Palestinian American. 

And a dismissive little wave at hateful bitch, Kim Davis. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out - you were, and still are, a disgrace.

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

You have a voice - USE it!

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. ~PLATO