Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Girlfriends and Giggles

What feels better than a giggle?

Not much, unless its a full out belly laugh.

Tears rolling down your face?! Even Better!!!!

And being blessed with girlfriends to share these giggles and guffaws with is beyond measure.

There are several little pieces that float around the internet extolling the virtues of girlfriends. Some are funny, some are sweet, some are sappy - but what they all have in common, I think, is that they stem from that undefinable "something" that blossoms when you're spending time in the company of best girlfriends.

There's a magic about those times.

They're special in a way that should probably just be left to experience, and not analyzed or explained - but, just "be."

I am lucky enough to still have women in my life who I've known since I was a little girl. I consider them best friends, and more - they're family. Sisters of my heart, each of whom I cherish deeply. And since then I've met a few more women along the way who are still hanging in there with me; sharing a few tears, and a whole lot of giggles - who are cherished just as deeply. Lucky me - MORE sisters! What a blessing for this gal who is an only child!

But wait - there's still more; a few women who I've never laid eyes on, but share a deep bond with through our email conversations. Amazingly enough - these women have become every bit as dear to me as the women I'm able to spend face to face time with. Admittedly, I'm one of the last believers in this phenomenon. But. The proof is in the pudding, as they say. (What EXACTLY does that mean, anyhow???) It seemed to work with what I wanted to say, so I'm leaving it, but deconstructed it makes not a whit of sense to me.

Friends do tend, sometimes, to disappear out of our lives, but there are always going to be a few special people we click with, and something quite unexplainable happens. When it does, I believe quite strongly that it should be
embraced and nurtured and treasured. Life is short, and going through it without women who can grasp and understand fully, and without judgment, some of the things we think and feel is too sad to be comprehended.
If there's a woman who you're missing; someone who used to be an important piece of your life, but has somehow disappeared, put aside whatever the reason might have been that's interrupted your time together and reach out to her. Bring her back. If you're not needing one another right now, chances are you will on down the road.

In the meantime, let's celebrate our best gal pals right here.

Here are a couple of those fun, silly, friendship things that we've all seen on the internet a whole bunch of times - one is sweet and sappy, and one makes me hoot. And, I think, there's enough truth in each to make them a little less silly than they actually seem with first reading.

Two Types of Friends -- Real & Simple

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about their problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

Author Unknown

and then, just so we don't get TOO carried away with ourselves being serious and/or sappy - truthful or not - let's have a dose of just plain ol' out and out fun with this one. Because girlfriends, if nothing else, can and need to show a great deal of irreverence from time to time.

Friendship Oath


When you are sad,
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the jerk who made you sad.

When you are scared,
I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried,
I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.

When you are confused,
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

And when you are lost,
I will answer my cell phone and give you directions.

When you are sick,
I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.

When you fall,
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath, I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?
Because you're my friend.


Wendy said...

Dear Kaye,
Thought the only child observation was a good one. I think girlfriends were so important to me because I just had brothers and always wanted a sister. And you didn't have to share a room. Such a deal!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm not a girl
But I'll give this a whirl
An honest peek
At our friendship so deep
I know we're not giggly
And I've got nothing jiggly
I know nothing of make-up
And cakes I can't bake up
But forgive me for being the man that I am
And I'll be the best girlfiend that anyone can!

Jonathan E. Quist said...

Oy, Kendra, I think I'm in love.

Then again, it might just be gas.

Kaye, you mentioned elsewhere you were curious about mysteries with best girlfriends as main characters. Two series come to mind for me: The first is Diane Mott Davidson's featuring caterer Goldy Schulz and her best friend Marla Korman. Goldy and Marla have much in common, including the same ex-husband.

The second is Sarah Graves' "Home Repair is Homicide" series, starring Jacobia "Jake" Tiptree and best friend Ellie White.

Both are friendships to die for. And, of course, both friends nearly do at one time or another...

B.G. Ritts said...

Truly best friends are like a soul mate/lover, just without the physical intimacy. You can tell them anything and they will dream and plan along with you.

As to giggles, the interesting part is that if you discuss the exact same thing a day/week/month later, with just one different person in the group, it doesn't seem to be funny. The people/time mix is everything.

Earl Staggs said...

Kaye Darlin', I agree with everything you said about girlfriends. That's why I always try to have two or three of them in my life at all times. I only hope Carol doesn't find out about them.

You know I'm kidding. She's been the onliest girlfriend in my life for a whole buncha years and will always be Number One.

But you're running a close second.


Earl. . .bein' ornery

Kaye Wilkinson Barley - Meanderings and Muses said...

Wendy and BG - Thanks!!

Wendy - I wouldn't have been very good, I don't think, at sharing my room. Having my own space, even as a little girl, was awfully important to me.

BG, I think you have summed up the spirit of best gal pals perfectly! I recently read somewhere that its easy to have a friend be sad with you - its tougher to find one to celebrate your dreams with. Those women are very special, and to be cherished.

And its true! That conversation that might have us rolling in the floor hysterically, might die a quite painful death in other circumstances. I never thought of that before, but it is true, isn't it?!

Jonathan - thanks for the recommendations. I'm not familiar with Sarah Graves, so this will be a fun discovery!!

Kendra and Earl Darlin'? What on EARTH would I do without you? for real!!!!!! love you guys!

Anonymous said...


Enjoyed your blog. Made me think back to giggly times. I lost track of most of my girl friends. But one I still have, and we still laugh like a couple of fools at everything when we're together, which isn't nearly often enough.

Truly, though, my best friend is my sister Carolyn. She's just a few months younger than I am, so we have been through life together. Mostly these days what we find to laugh about are old times.

BTW, that Kendra person is a great poet. Poetess? (-:
Pat B.

Jen Forbus said...

Hi Kaye,

I, like Jonathan, want to pipe up about some girlfriends in our mystery reads. I can't think of a sluething duo off the top of my head, but I did want to mention Jane Cleland's Josie who becomes such good friends with Zoe - Zoe's her support system that ultimately gets her solving the crime!

Also I thought I would throw in that Linda Fairstein also includes the value of best girlfriends in her Alex Cooper novels. Alex has Joan and Nina who she relies on for emotional support in most of the novels...even if it's over the phone.

One of my best girl friends is my aunt. We don't get to see each other often since I'm in Ohio and she's in Arkansas, but we chat regularly through e-mail and she just keeps me in stitches. Gotta love it!

Kaye Wilkinson Barley - Meanderings and Muses said...

Pat - I always love the stories you tell about your sister Carolyn, and how tickled you can get when you're together. Those times are truly priceless, aren't they? And sharing laughs about times past are some of the very best.

Jen - I ADORE the friendships Linda Fairstein writes about so beautifully! Some of my favorite scenes in her books feature Joan and Nina. Does it make you think Linda must have very close gal pals in her own life that perhaps she's drawing from here?